Thursday, December 02, 2004

Great Expectations

I'm no good with deadlines, not right now. I feel like I'm falling apart, and my life is torn into two distinct pieces.

There are two parts to my life now, a "before" and a "now".
Before I felt as if I knew exactly where I was and where I wanted to go, my aim was clear and my footsteps eager. Sure, there were obstacles, but I could see them and either find a way around them or climb over them or crawl through them. That was before this semester, before the ordeal this summer, before everything came crashing down. I knew where I was going, I could see it, I knew what I was getting myself into, and I knew I would go far.
And now someone has turned off the lights. I am now lost in the dark, stumbling, doomed to wonder if I'm going anywhere or just wandering around in circles. I trip over everything, and I've lost my sense of purpose. I've lost my sense of identity. I don't know who I am, or where I stand, or who I'm going to get out of this mess.

Please don't expect too much of me, I will only let you down.



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