Thursday, October 07, 2004

Pulling all the Stops

Sometimes it seems like whatever I do, I can't slow down. I'm just always so busy, and if I slow down the world will keep spinning and I'll just fall off and fall even more behind. My life is just stress on top of stress on top of stress, and I just want to get off this out-of-control Merry-Go-Round that isn't very "Merry" anymore.
I just want some time to be alone, without homework or anything to worry about. want to be able to sit and stare at something and not feel guilty for not really doing any work. I want to be caught up or, better yet, just done. No work, no worries, all the time in the world.
But then again, what would I do if I had all the time in the world? What would I do if I didn't really have any due dates, or places I had to be?
I'd read my books for awhile, just for something to do. I'd probably eat almost as much as I do when I'm really stressed. And then I'd start making a To Do List for myself of all sorts of things I want to do, now that I have the time. And then pretty soon I wouldn't have any free time anymore, I would have filled it all up.
I'm a puzzle to figure out. More time? Less time? No time? Time doesn't matter?
Don't ask me. I'll debate that some other time. Right now I've got stuff to do, places to be, and other puzzles to work out.
All-Stop doesn't really work, I guess. Not for long.
Not forever.



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