Sunday, August 22, 2004

Narrow Roads, Open Mind

A friend of mine wrote that quote, and I have to admit that it sums up how I feel sometimes. Sometimes life seems so difficult. I know I'm supposed to go somewhere, but I don't know where. I'm supposed to do something, I have a mission, a destiny, a calling. But what is it? What am I supposed to do?
Sometimes I feel like I'm walking through life backwards with my eyes closed. I know the general direction I'm supposed to go... kinda. I have learned to trust that inner voice that whispers what I should do, and I'm learning how to tune out the other little voice that always tells me what I should have done. Life's too short to live backwards. But then why do I feel like I am seeking my destiny walking backwards? And why am I here?
Sometimes I feel like I go through life running from something, but I don't know what it is. I think if I knew what it was, I could turn around and face it. But I don't know what it is and thus the nightmare follows me, jumping out when I least want it to. It is the Dragon that follows me, that refuses to disappear. He hides, but he always comes back when I can least afford it.
I do have the blessing of my friends, though. Without all my friends I don't think I would have made it this far, at least not all in one piece. What is life without friends? Sad and lonely is my answer. Extremely sad and lonely. If there's one thing I need in this world, it's loyal friends. And God has blessed me, because loyal friends I do have. And life certainly wouldn't be the same without them.



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