Tuesday, November 23, 2004

Rules and Regulations

Sometimes people get so caught up in the rules and regulations that they forget why those rules are there. What is the point of following the letter of the law if the law means nothing? We are a society of lawyers, and thus can get nothing useful done.
Sometimes slack rules are a good thing. Flammable people with legs can never block a fire exit -- they'll actually be the first ones to exit through said fire exit should a fire occur. Flammable tables with legs do block fire exits, as they can't run out the door. But then again, flammable tables with legs can't read, hence the quote does not apply to them.
Rules and regulations are set out for the good of society and the improvement of mankind. They are not made to bog life down with useless paperwork and senseless squabbling. Yet that's what they're used for today. Senseless paperwork and useless squabbling. We're full of legal battles that should have been thrown out of the courts on the first day. Who doesn't know that coffee is hot, anyway? If it was cold wouldn't you go back and complain? So why sue McDonald's because your coffee is hot?
It reminds me of the time at work this summer where the electricians were sitting in their van eating lunch and got rear-ended by a lady who had driven past the "construction area ahead" signs, through the construction zone cones, and totalled her car by hitting their van. She had no idea what she had hit, according to the police report.
The story from the van was that it was lunch time so the two electricians were talking when suddenly Paul turned to his apprentice, Jerry, and yelled, "Brace yourself! We're gonna get hit!" Thankfully he had seen her coming up on them in his side-view mirror or the two of them would have flown through the windshielf. (Nobody buckles their seatbelt when they're eating lunch parked by the side of the road enjoying the air conditioning before running outside again.)
Jerry pulled out his cell phone and called 9-1-1 immediately. "Is anyone hurt?" the operator asked. "Hold on a minute, I didn't get to the back of the van, I haven't seen the other... Oh my goodness lady, are you okay?!?!?" The lady in question was unconscious, her totalled car boxing her in tight, with blood everywhere. Obviously the answer was, "No." But 911 got the hint, and rushed there immediately.
Jerry claims that there was spilled soda all over the front of the car, and a half-eaten hamburger lying in the back. His guess was that she was eating while driving and wasn't watching where she was going, hitting the electrician's van and causing the hamburger she was holding to fly backwards. The police report specifically mentioned that she had no idea what she hit (even after the accident!), she wasn't using a cell phone, and she wasn't taking any drugs that cause drowsiness. It mentioned nothing about the fast food lunch.
If we need to have rules saying McDonald's can't be sued for people being fat, then why don't we have rules saying that you can't eat while driving? Not to say that I would advocate such a rule, but to ask why do we have all these stupid rules so that stupid people can't take advantage of the system when we don't have rules to protect stupid people from their own stupidity.
Why? Because we'd have way too many lawsuits saying "It is unconstitutional to prohibit eating while driving." Sometimes I wonder if evolution is indeed the answer to at least some of the questions of origin. This thought is followed by the question of whether or not lawyers and politicians are descendents of leeches and baboons.
There are way too many stupid people making stupid decisions and endangering innocent people's lives. You have a brain, people!
USE IT for a change!
I'm done now.



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