Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Tears of Laughter

My life feels so perfect right now.

I know it's not perfect, there are still plenty of things I could find wrong with it... But I don't want to look, I want to hold on to this moment of perfection and wonder because I know that, as long as I hold firm, this "moment" will never end, and the feelings of perfection and wonder and awe and excitement and relaxation will last a lifetime.

There is something to be said for discovering a feeling as wonderful as this... It is not a feeling of excitement, by the dictionary definition, but it is excitement just the same. It is a sense of belonging... A firm conviction, down deep in your soul, that this is where you were meant to be, this is where you belong, you have finally discovered your place in life.

All I had to do was discover my other half...

I remember on my last trip to see my family, my sister was asking her friends if they believed there was one specific person out in the world, meant for her. I can answer her question now. The answer is "yes," and the answer to the question of how one would know when they have found the right person is simply "listen." Listen to your heart, and the answer becomes obvious.

My life is now underlined by perfect calm... The kind that comes from an underlying strength that permeates your entire life. My strength lies in the knowledge that I am in Love with the most wonderful man on the face of the planet, and he is in Love with me, we were meant for each other, and now that we have realized this our futures are intertwined in a way that cannot be undone, and does not wish to unravel. It is a feeling of perfection, and completeness, and it is both stronger and gentler than any feeling I have ever known... Sometimes it is overwhelming, and somethings it is the strength that keeps me from becoming overwhelmed with anything and everything that is thrown at me.

We do the most amazing things, and we have traveled to some distant places to look at flowers or hike or attend the theater or try a fancy restaurant... And of all the things I have done with him, the thing that I enjoy the most is sitting on the couch, eating mildly-warm pizza, and watching "Law and Order". We have spent hundreds of hours in his car driving to anything worth seeing or doing in a three hour radius, and despite our best efforts we have only finished one of his audio books on tape, not for lack of trying, but because we're unable to keep quiet long enough to listen, we just want to talk and listen the entire trip and don't remember to put the tape in until ten minutes before our arrival. The last ten minutes, of course, are spent discussing important matters like how we never seem to finish a tape, maybe next week we'll try again, and by the way, where are we going next week? Cue a whole different discussion, and the books on Compact Disk sit silent in the tape deck.

I have never felt more complete, more alive, more in love with life, and he is the reason. Wherever he goes, I want to go to. I have spent my life wondering where I belonged, and if I truly did belong, and I finally have my answer. My life has been changed beyond recognition, my existence finally has found a purpose, and my heart is happier than I ever felt possible.

Wherever he goes, that is where I belong.



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