Thursday, September 23, 2004

Spinning spinning spinning

I just feel so disoriented this week. There's always something that needs done, something I'm supposed to do, some place I have to be. I think I've spent a grand total of about 10 hours in my room this week, not including sleeping of course. And some nights I've only managed to snag about 3 hours' worth of sleep.
It's not healthy. But I can't stop.
This is what I've been like:
I can't do this anymore.
I can't concentrate can't concentrate can't concentrate and I have homework that needs wants must be demands to be done.
Chocolate Chip Cookies?
Vanilla Frosting on Graham Crackers?
Something crunchy and caramelly and melt-in-your-mouthy and peanut-flavored and chocolate
Please don't tell me that's healthy. Because I know it isn't.
Sigh. Why can't I manage like most people seem to? Why can't I stay focused? Why does the world just keep spinning and spinning and spinning around and around and upside down and rightside left and why can't I just manage to concentrate concentrate concentrate and at least translate all this confusion and figure out what's wrong, something's wrong, something's wrong, I can't concentrate, I can't see, I can't do anything, I can't feel anything except frustration right now.
I am frustrated.
I think I'll just go to bed. That's probably better in the long run. I can do (or just attempt) my homework tomorrow. Because I can't concentrate can't concentrate can't concentrate anymore.



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