Wednesday, May 04, 2005

Worry, Worry, Worry

I worry too much, I really do. Will I pass this course? (Um, yeah. Unless I do something stupid, like skip the final.) Will he/she get mad at me if I say no? (If they do, too bad. My life, I have to make my own decisions, I can't tip-toe around all the time, afraid to disagree with people.) What if it doesn't work? (Then it doesn't work. Simple as that. Try something else.) What if everything falls apart? (Hmm... Back to square one, I suppose. I love erasers.) What if I can't do what I think I can? (Then I'm wrong, and I'd better fix it. Or else I'm in trouble, I guess.)
What if? What if? What if? What if?

What if I actually stopped asking questions, and started concentrating on finding answers? (I'd probably get a lot more done, wouldn't I?) What if I just decided to live my life the way I wanted to? (Then lots of people would get mad at me, but they'd get over it. It's my life, I have to live it the best I can, not the best of what other people say I should do.) What if I just decided to start things all over again tomorrow, with a new sheet of paper, a clean page of life? (Then I guess I'd feel a lot more free, not having to worry about the past, concentrating only on the present and how my path will get me to the future.)
I worry too much.

I worry too much. What if I just stopped worrying? What if it just didn't matter anymore? What if I felt comfortable with who I am, as long as I felt I was doing the right thing? What if I could forgive myself for doing the wrong thing?
Maybe I'd remember what the term "free time" means... =)



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