Friday, November 11, 2011

Tears of Laughter, Part 2

Life has a way of making you think, doesn't it?  Of taking everything you thought you believed and turning it on its side as if to show you that you can't ever figure out everything.  It's been a rough lesson to learn, for me, but a good one.

I have come to the conclusion that nothing ever lasts forever, and that's not necessarily a bad thing, either.  This world we live in is constantly changing - everything is constantly changing.  Change is one of those unstoppable forces in the world, and that's a good thing, since nothing was ever truly meant to last forever.  Besides, things would be too boring that way.

The important question to ask is not whether or not things will change, but in what direction they're changing, and whether that's a good thing, a bad thing, or just something you'll need to adjust to but otherwise doesn't really have an impact one way or the other.  The clock ticks onward, time is always changing, and the very fabric of the universe is constantly adjusting itself to keep up.

I've been learning to live in today, rather than to live in my concept of what they future needs to be based upon what the past has been.  The world changes, and I need to learn to keep my finger on the pulse of how it's changing, and be true to myself in determining what changes I need to make in my own life to adjust for these changes.  Day by day nothing is static but more a constantly fluid motion into the future, with me coming along for the ride.  It's a strong current, and while I can look upstream and remember things from the past I can't go back there again, and worrying about what's around the corner doesn't do much good for the day-to-day things (although it's always good to plan in case of waterfalls, of course).  I'm better off living in the present moment, enjoying the view as the shoreline of new memories passes by, adjusting to keep myself safe in the current time, safe in my present moment.

Planning ahead too far truly leads to disappointment.  Even if good things happen, it can be hard to recognize them as what I needed in that moment because I'm too busy being disappointed because it's not what I wanted.  Certainly, it's good to plan ahead for things, but time is fluid, and I need to keep my plans fluid to adjust appropriately, rather than clinging to rigid beliefs and then holding on to those beliefs long past the time when the universe has proven they're not going to happen, it's time to let go.  And let me tell you, I have spent way too much time clinging to beliefs that were no longer real, to the point that now looking back I can only laugh at myself and wonder, "What was I thinking?"

Letting go of expectations means that I recognize what I have that is good as good, rather than as "not what I wanted" - and I can thoroughly enjoy living in the present moment.  It's a lesson I have learned the hard way, and a lesson that I do not intend to forget.

My life is beautiful, now.  And now, I can recognize it for what it is, rather than what it isn't.  <3



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